Sacred Word
by L'il Senzu
Summary: Sequel to CHANGED. Gohan has gone to think over some things. Each father is given 1 chance to live up to that sacred word, should goku be given another? Gohan POV. Flashbacks. slight angst. i was bored...again. flames accepted. One Shot. Please RR.


Okay, so this is my 7th fic, 5th DBZ. Wow I'm writing a lot on this... I wasn't going to write anything else on this topic...but the reviews I got for Changed made me change my mind. This is sort of like a sequel...but it could stand on its own too, I guess.

My stories go in:

1. My Little Family  
2. Father?  
3. Son Grin  
4. Changed  
5. Sacred Word

You don't need to read them all to understand any one of them...but if you want to, they make sense when all together.

I do not own Dragon Ball Z

Rated PG just because, mainly. Some angst, not much.

I don't think this one is very good. It's not my least favorite...but it's not my favorite story, so I really don't think I did the best job on this one. I wasn't to the point of boredom where my writing just flows, I was just mildly bored. Please give me a shot anyways.

This is Gohan POV but its all his thoughts, pretty much. Like everyone, he skips around on topics and a lot of this is flashbacks and bits of recent conversations he's had with people. Those are in _italics_, so you know.

**Please review!!** Tell me exactly, honestly what you think! I accept flames and criticisms, so no one worry about my feelings!

Sacred Word

I don't think anyone could understand the freedom of flying unless they experienced it themselves. You don't have to face anyone or worry about anything. The wind rushing past your ears can clear your thoughts completely or make it easier to think about things. You can just shut your eyes and forget...although not for too long because if you do, you might forget there's a mountain coming up and then you won't be able to forget about the pain in your head.

But flying is liberating. I love it. I've already made about twenty slow laps around the whole world...and during that time I've slowly been trying to get my thoughts in order...not that I want to think, that is. I'd much rather just forget about everything and focus on the wind or the ocean spray when I fly low enough for it to hit my face.

But that's all I was doing for a while...I really need to start thinking. I looked around and find a good, deserted place I can hang out for a while at. I stretch out on a flat rock, because I know that lying in the grass will just aggravate me.

I guess I ran away again, technically. I wouldn't exactly call this that...but I left without telling anyone, and I've been gone since yesterday afternoon...so I suppose that's running away. But I'm kind of too old for that, so I'd just call it leaving.

It just started yesterday morning. Goku has been home for about a week now. He went over to Vegeta's to train or something. I don't really care. Mom took the opportunity and decided to talk to me about some things...

_"Gohan, you've been a little different lately."_

_"What do you mean, mom?" _

_"Well...you're different around your father. You barely talk to him at all." _

_"That's not true. We talk...and it's not like he's tried to talk to me lately."_

That was true. Since the time I went to go see Piccolo, he'd been a little different. Like he was over willing to give me space, or to put it simpler, he almost avoided me. It kind of hurt... that day, and the day before though...that shouldn't have been enough to make him stop trying to talk to me. I mean...I knew I wasn't making it easy for him, but I never thought he would give up on me.

_I was reading...or trying to. It was pretty hard to concentrate while listening to Goku and Goten talk and laugh and goof off. But the book was really good, so I made an effort to stay into it. Sometimes though...I couldn't help sneaking off glances at them. They sure are getting along well... _

_Finally the noise stopped and I was able to read in peace. Then I heard Goku calling up to me:_

_"Gohan?" _

_I ignored him. Maybe he'd get the fact that I'm reading and give up. _

_"Want to come down here?"_

_Damn, no luck. And now he was using his father status to make me comply. Damn him! I was just getting to a good part. So I jumped down, and he tried to get us talking...but I was really not into it. I wanted to get back to my book, and I had little patience for this man anyways. _

_We talk for a little while, me quite unwillingly, and I'm not really even paying much attention to what we're saying. Then he said something..._

_He thought I was fourteen? Fourteen?!! How could he be missing four years?! Is he really that dense or does he just not care how old I am and how many birthdays he missed? _

_"I'm eighteen, Goku." whoops. "I mean dad." he nods. He's upset that I slipped again. I honestly didn't mean it, even though I was mad. It's just that referring to him as Goku for about five years kind of makes you develop a habit of it. _

"_Let's go train a little, eh son?"_

'_Don't go, Gohan. Don't go. Don't get close to him again. Don't get close. He's not going to stay here. Something will happen...someone will come...and he'll leave again. Don't go with him. Don't get close again. It hurts when you get close, Gohan. Don't go.' I told myself silently, willing myself not to go with him. I did want to...but I knew I couldn't. _

_I finally got him to leave me alone. It was hard to do. I was seriously tempted to go train with him...but I just kept reminding myself of the great book I had waiting for me...and what happened whenever I got close to Goku. It hurt twice as much when he left. Right then, I didn't care about him that much...it wouldn't be bad when he left, this way. Plus, I still had a grudge against him. I might have burnt him to a sizzle if I got pissed off enough._

_I watched him go back to the house. I really thought that he was going to wake up Goten, but he didn't. Poor Goten hasn't let himself sleep in two days. He always wants to be up and around Goku..._

He's always around Goku now. I want to flinch every time he calls him "Dad", but I have a pretty good hold on my facial expressions, so I don't. But he's always around Goku, and never around me. For seven years I played the part of that kid's older brother **and **father...and now he just doesn't need me. It's a strange thing...and it makes me even madder at Goku for destroying my little family. To just be replaced in Goten's life...well not replaced really...but severely demoted.

He was never there for him. He was never there when Goten woke up with nightmares. He wasn't the one to teach Goten how to fly or how to read....but I guess that's okay because he wasn't the one to teach me how to read or how to fly either. Mom and Piccolo did that.

_"You're late." _

_"I'm sorry, Piccolo. Goku held me up." _

_"Goku? I remember a time when you called him 'father'." _

_"I remember a time when I called you 'Mr. Piccolo.' I guess I grew out of it." _

I really did have to talk to Piccolo...although the meditation thing was just to convince Goku not to come. I mean, I do meditate sometimes, and Piccolo meditates all the time, but I knew that we weren't going to do that that time. We sparred, and then talked for a while...Piccolo doesn't seem like it, but he can be a real great person to talk to sometimes, even if he does say some odd things...

_"Are you happy, kid?" _

_"At this moment or altogether?" _

Goku was brought up a few times. I guess that's because that's what I really had to talk about.

_"So you're not glad he's back now?" _

_"...I am...but he doesn't understand that it can't be like it was before. I can't depend on him again. I never should have depended on him to begin with, but I know now. Things change."_

_"He didn't change."_

_"I did." _

I guess that's it. I changed. No matter how I think of him, he will always be my father...whether I want him to be or not.

_"Why do you keep calling him Goku? He's your father." _

_"I don't mean to call him Goku. I just slip sometimes, Mom." _

_"You shouldn't slip! He should always be your father!" _

_"Then he should have always been around!" _

I don't think they get it. Father, Dad, Daddy...all sacred words. You can't just deal them out. You can't just be given the title 'Dad'. You have to earn it. Goku did once...but not anymore. My standards increased and he doesn't meet them. I love Goku. I always will. I hate it, but I do.

But things will never be the same again. Goku cannot be 'Dad' again. You only get one chance for that sort of thing. He blew it.

"Ready to go, kid?"

I look up and see Piccolo. "...Not yet."

He nods, and sits down next to me. No words are spoken at first, but then he says, "You're getting too old for this, kid."

"Are you sure you're just not getting too old to chase after me?" I ask teasingly.

He smiles, just the slightest glimmer of amusement before it disappears so quickly I would have wondered if I had seen it at all, had I not known Piccolo well enough.

"You know...your dad is worried about you."

"Then why isn't he here?" I demand. But I truly am happier he isn't and it is Piccolo here with me. I don't think I would have been able to deal with Goku asking me what my 'problem' was and pretending he still even had that role in my life.

"He thought that you wouldn't want him to chase you."

"He's right."

"You should forgive him."

I was silent for a moment. "I would have to forget to do that...and I can't forget..." I pause. "I don't hate him, you know that, right Piccolo?"

"Yeah, of course."

I hesitate before saying, "I don't hate him...but I can't call him a father anymore. He's just...not. Father is a sacred word."


End file.
